...go on when I close my eyes.... Heart
I've been on my weight loss journey for quite awhile. Recently, however, I had a little setback. After having gone all the way to 28 pounds lost... I gained back three. :(
I know that it's okay. I'm not beating myself up over it. I'm not going to let this derail my plans. However, it's been weighing heavily on my mind. I found out just how heavily last night.
I dreamt that I was on one of those weight loss reality shows, like "Biggest Loser." O_O
In the dream, I could see that specific contestants were chosen because of their ability to create drama. These were people who knew how to push other people's buttons and they enjoyed doing it.
There was the "Back Off" queen, who reveled in getting in other people's faces -- "What did you just say to my friend? Are you bothering her?"
There was the "Backstabber" professional, who would say someting nice to your face and then run off to say something evil about you to everyone else.
And then lots of other hangers-on, you know the type.
So, in the dream, apparently we had been on the show for a little while already. As a reward for having lost a certain amount of weight, we were going to have dinner at a nice restaurant in a mall. (I know, "nice restaurant" and "in a mall" are two phrases that rarely show up in the same sentence. hee hee) However, we had to complete a challenge before we could go eat. We were given "hobby horses", kind of like this one...
...only, because this was a dream, they were camels, not horses, and they were eight.feet.high.
Then we were told that we had to ride them down the length of the mall to the restaurant. Apparently, we had to get them bouncing and move them that way.
I didn't have any problems, but one of the contestants got hers bouncing so hard (because of her weight) that she actually managed to hit her head on the ceiling of the mall. Remember, these things were eight feet high to begin with.
Weird weird weird.
Once we got to the restaurant, we had to find our place markers. When I found mine, there was my dinner, already ordered, ???, and in a "To Go" box! Everyone else got to sit down, look at the menu and choose what they wanted, but I had to eat what was in the "To Go" box! At least it was still warm -- when I opened the box, steam rose from it. But I couldn't see what was inside.
And then I woke up.
Analysis, Dr. Freud?
On this weight loss journey, I have not restricted myself in what I eat, only in portion sizes. So the whole "To Go" box thing is really confusing. It sounds like I'm thinking I am only allowed to eat what someone else has deemed correct for me, but that's not the case at all. That one has me stumped.
As far as being on the weight loss show, I know it's because I am disappointed with gaining some pounds back. I lost a little control, there, and it showed up immediately! :P
As FlyLady says, "Baby steps." (This applies to my weight as well as to my house.) I just need to get back into the "groove" of it all. Jack up my water intake again, snack on good things, and suck it up and walk the dog on the mornings when I work, even though it makes me rush through the rest of my morning to get to work on time.
I can do this. WITHOUT the aid of eight foot high bouncy camels. :D